Stay Together for the Kids

How do you just fall out of love with a person? I don't get it.

I've seen so many marriages fall apart and end. And so many great relationships die. It's depressing. My parents' divorce was one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. And it still affects me so much today. It has made me such a stronger person, but I would give anything to have never gone through that. Things would be so different.

To make this day even more depressing, I have a huge Soc exam tomorrow I need to study for. And I don't even really know what to expect because my teacher is lame.

Study Time.

I Will Follow You Into The Dark

Alex Shaide passed away in a horrible gun accident this past Friday. He was a 9th grader at Valley Forge. He was pretty good friends with my brother and my cousin had some classes with him. I've only seen him once in my life, and never spoke a word to the little guy, but he made a huge impact on me today. My brother and cousin went to his wake tonight and just thinking about such a young boy in a casket like that made me really appreciate life. I don't even know how I would be able to handle something like that. I'm truly thankful for everybody in my life and grateful for those who have always been there for me. It was such an eye opener to just never take your life for granted. Alex and his family will most definitely be in my prayers. RIP Alex Shaide.

"My closest relationship is with my Blackberry. Thank God it vibrates."

Sooo yesterday was Valentine's Day. Wooo hooo. I don't particularly look forward to it that much or make a big deal out of it anymore. I used to love it, but Kyle just isn't the romantic type so I think he kind of changed that about me. I visited him this weekend, even though I felt like I shouldn't have since he had an Ochem exam this morning and needed to study. I also don't have school today so I really wanted to stay an extra night, especially since it was Valentine's Day and all, but he said no, and I get it. So he took me out to dinner Saturday night and then yesterday morning gave me a present (new camera!). Which made me feel a little bad because I didn't get him anything. I really didn't think he got me anything so I wasn't worried about it. Ohhhh well.

So since I was kicked out of Ada early Sunday, I made plans with Jess. It was nice to spend Valentine's evening with her. I got to vent about some stuff which I would otherwise not be able to talk to anybody about. And then we saw Valentine's Day, which I really liked. Better than Dear John for sure.

The cast is outstanding and the plot is really cool. It is a lot like She's Just Not That Into You. There are like 10 little stories occurring and every person seems to be interrelated somehow. And it isn't the typical romantic comedy where everyone ends up with somebody. So I like how it went. There were also some unexpected and quite hilarious moments.

Bradley Cooper and Eric Dane make for a good laugh at the end. Patrick Dempsey plays a huge douchebag which was weird to see because in Grey's he is such a sweetheart. He's a doctor in the movie though, go figure. Ashton Kutcher was adorable, as always. Jessica Alba and Julia Roberts weren't in it much but I loved Roberts' role in the film. I feel like Anne Hathaway broke out of her shell and was histerical. The only bad thing I would have to say is Taylor Swift's acting skills. She was a horrible actress which is sad because I love her music. She should stick to songwriting and singing.

Anyways, I recommend seeing the movie. It's a classic romantic comedy.

Tim Leo...

... is the MAN! Because he's taking me to school Wednesday mornings.

What a guy. :)

Lackkkkk of Communication.

Not being able to talk to your boyfriend about any serious subject matter after 2 and a half years is extremely frustrating. Especially when you're the type of person who used to talk about everything. Keeping things inside is no good for me.

No good.

I don't even have my sisters to talk to anymore. I have absolutely no idea who PJ or Sophie are anymore really. I never see or talk to them. And I barely ever see or talk to Alex or Lina. And I used to talk to Lina every night about EVERYTHING. And I understand that some people aren't good at communicating about things, and I'm not trying to change who they are. But to never, ever talk about anything for real is just so frustrating to me. I think more so now because I don't have anybody else to talk to about stuff.

Sometimes it just makes me feel like he doesn't want to share anything with me. I don't know. I'm probably overthinking everything. It is just hard sometimes. Especially when I'm feeling sensitive due to family issues or something. I feel like I can't really talk to him about it. Because it makes him feel uncomfortable and he just doesn't really say anything. Blahhhh. I am trying to adjust and I was doing well but lately there was just so much stuff I needed to let out and I couldn't.

And then I feel guilty if I say anything about how I feel because he feels like I'm putting him down. And then gets angry. And can be pretty mean and sarcastic when he's angry. And that just doesn't help anything at all.

Hopefully I'll just start having an easier time with everything in my life. And never have to talk to anyone about it.