Lackkkkk of Communication.

Not being able to talk to your boyfriend about any serious subject matter after 2 and a half years is extremely frustrating. Especially when you're the type of person who used to talk about everything. Keeping things inside is no good for me.

No good.

I don't even have my sisters to talk to anymore. I have absolutely no idea who PJ or Sophie are anymore really. I never see or talk to them. And I barely ever see or talk to Alex or Lina. And I used to talk to Lina every night about EVERYTHING. And I understand that some people aren't good at communicating about things, and I'm not trying to change who they are. But to never, ever talk about anything for real is just so frustrating to me. I think more so now because I don't have anybody else to talk to about stuff.

Sometimes it just makes me feel like he doesn't want to share anything with me. I don't know. I'm probably overthinking everything. It is just hard sometimes. Especially when I'm feeling sensitive due to family issues or something. I feel like I can't really talk to him about it. Because it makes him feel uncomfortable and he just doesn't really say anything. Blahhhh. I am trying to adjust and I was doing well but lately there was just so much stuff I needed to let out and I couldn't.

And then I feel guilty if I say anything about how I feel because he feels like I'm putting him down. And then gets angry. And can be pretty mean and sarcastic when he's angry. And that just doesn't help anything at all.

Hopefully I'll just start having an easier time with everything in my life. And never have to talk to anyone about it.