Seriously.

Have you ever had one of those days that felt terrible and put you in the worst mood but in reality, it probably wasn't even that bad? That was today. I started the day with my 6-2 shift in the cash office which went extremely smoothly thanks to St who is awesome at closing. I even got done an hour and a half early so I went home and watched some tv and did some pre-lab for Bio tomorrow.

Then Alex had asked me to borrow my car for her driving test. So I let her drive to the DMV and on the way she hits an enormous pothole filled with tons of water on Snow Rd. I didn't get too mad, because she is a new driver, but the car made a bad sound when it hit so I was a little worried. Well, she ran over a cone so no license for little Alex yet, but I let her drive home and she parks the car and runs in the house in tears. Meanwhile, I move over to the driver seat and turn the ignition and... my car won't start.

Tried for an hour in my mom's driveway to start the thing. My stepdad looked at it and tried even longer to start it. Nothing. Just tons of bad sounding noise. So I call John. Which makes me feel pretty terrible. I feel like a user. Like, "Oh, hey, I completely broke your heart back in the day and we never talk now, but can you come fix my car? Pretty please?" But what else am I going to do? I know nothing about cars. I'm pretty useless.

So John thinks that when Alex hit the pothole water got all up in my engine. Which is why it won't start. So I now have to leave my car on my mom's street with the hood up to let it airdry. This takes a little over an hour. I then try to start my car again, and TADA! It revvvs right up. Thank the Lord. But now I am terrified to drive to Ada to see Kyle this weekend. Which completely sucks because it is my spring break and he actually agreed to letting me stay a few extra nights even though he has class (Surprise!) So since I worry so much John agrees to look at it if I bring it over later.

In the meanwhile I have to go to Kyle's house to deliver some things for his parentals. Cereal and bread. Hah. It was nice to see them though. They lifted my spirits for the half hour that I visited and it was nice to just sit with them and talk and laugh about dumb stuff. His family always makes me forget what a mess mine is.

After that little visit Jess (my hero) meets me at my house to go with me to John's. Mostly just so that I have a friend to vent to because she knew I was having a terrible day and needed somebody to talk to. And she said something to me tonight that made me want to cry right there in the car. She told me that she was so proud of me for turning out to be the person that I was. That I was one of the strongest people that she knew and that I was so responsible and down to earth and honest and just an all around great girl considering everything I've been through. I am getting teary eyed just thinking about it again. I don't even know where I would be without this girl lately. I am so disappointed that we never got closer sooner.

So after John looked at my car he concluded that it was safe for me to drive to Ada this weekend and next weekend. Which is good. But it is making a weird noise everytime I hit a bump. It has always made a noise when I hit a bump but it is definitely more distinct now. So after spring break he offered to look at it more in depth and see if he can figure out what is making that noise. But I should be okay. Hopefully. I am grateful that he is willing to help me out in situations such as this. I always feel bad asking but he always seems so eager and willing to help!

Then I get home and I can't decide if I want to just pass out or cry or punch somebody or what. But I'm completely stressed. And I just want to say all of what I am saying right now to Kyle. But our conversation lasts 2 minutes and consists of "You have responsibilities. Go finish your paper." Ugh. I am so glad that he is pushing me to do well academically. But tonight I really just needed somebody to talk to. And it failed to be him, once again. That really bums me out. All I can do is hope that things will get easier in that aspect of our relationship. Eventually.

All in all, it was just a rough day. And I think tiredness has a lot to do with it as well. And sickness. Being sick for so long and always being tired is no good. But hopefully things will turn around soon.

If somebody actually reads this whole thing, I really appreciate that and I applaud you!

Bedtime.